Chinese Gooseberries all round!

I've just discovered the kiwi!

Let me explain. You see, all my life I've avoided eating kiwis just on the basis that they look like a German Shepard's ball bag. And they do. That's fairly indisputable. So I happily went about my life plucking kiwi pieces out of fruit salads, avoiding kiwi milkshakes, and generally living a gentle, undisturbed or remarked-upon kiwi-free existence.

But I was wrong.

The other day in the caféteria they had no mandarins left, what was I to do then in order to round off my dessert? Quandry you see, as I'd already eaten a banana that morning and the apples had nothing going for them. So I decided, well, what's a kiwi next to a horse's dick? And so I took a couple and put them on my tray, all the while fidgeting nervously knowing that hardened kiwi-eaters were looking on with suspicion as I ineptly handled them. You seem to just have to rotate two kiwis in your hand, and that leads the mind into dark, dark places.... But anyway, when it came to eating them I didn't know what to do. I started to peel them mandarin-style but it wasn't working out, the skin was tough and not coming off in smooth peels but in little unglorious bits, I was destroying the kiwi.
Panic!!

I could feel the gazes of others on me as I put it down and pretended I wanted to eat something else, but there was nothing else left on the plate, I had to keep going! I started to eat it like an apple, but there wasn't enough peel gone and I could only get my incisors in there and scrape out miserable shreds, juice getting on my cheeks, stares of gallic reproach lancing into me from all corners of the restaurant. I was fucking up in front of my peers!!! But then suddenly it didn't matter.......the taste....this taste that I had for no good reason denied myself for so long....I'd never tasted a kiwi before. They are gorgeous. In fact, now I rate them one of the best fruits of all time because unlike most other fruits....YOU CAN EAT THE PIPS!! What a revelation. And so I have learned the true way of eating them, like a boiled egg, scooping them with a spoon. Well, what more can I say but that the old French saying is true, 'never be put off by food that looks like a nutsac, unless it's actually hanging off an animal'

The Kiwi, the fruit so good it could almost apply for meat status.

And it would have a good case for getting it!





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Additional pertinent kiwi information discovered post blog.

Kiwifruit also serves as a natural blood thinner. A recent study performed at the University of Oslo in Norway reveals that--similar to popular mainstream aspirin therapy-consuming two to three kiwifruit daily for 28 days significantly thins the blood, reducing the risk of clots, and lowers fat in the blood that can cause blockages.[10]