Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité

Ou la mort!

The catchphrase for these coming presidential elections is ‘Calm Rupture’. And that says it all about the mindset of the French as the country hurtles on into May’s big showdown. The phrase comes from the poll leader at the moment one Nicolas Sarkozy who is the Hungarian originated thorn in the side for the encumbent Jacques Chirac and captures succintly the dual desire for both radical change and eternal consistency with the past. Such is the paradox of French politics,which has to be said, is incredibly interesting and far different from what we’re used to at home.
For a start, not just any Jackie Healy Rae or rich county councillor can enter the political arena. They would have no credibility. Instead, the decision makers here have come through special Universities specifically designed to forge the leaders of tomorrow. The most well known of which is Science-Po, a place a certain Tiger is busily trying to enter. These people can talk and defend themselves from almost any argument or verbal attack possible. In a word : Professionals. And they need to be, because almost every week the appear on lengthy TV shows answering questions from the public LIVE about their proposals for bringing the country back to it’s haughty position of yore. Very, very interesting to watch.
So just who are the main hopefuls for this election? Let’s take a glance at their pants.

The Neo-Napoleon.
http://tempsreel.nouvelobs.com/file/153557.jpg

This is Sarkozy of the UMP whose tough stance on immigration and security are a bit of an obvious backlash to the countries housing, unemployment and identity problems but so far he is leading the sondages and is easily the most cunning orator of them all. A pint-sized hyper-energetic go-getter Sarkozy has been on the political scene since he graduated from SP at 22 and is currently standing down from his position of Interior Minister in order to stab his old master further in the back. Got to respect that at least. Got into trouble with the ethnic communities for using the forbidden word racaille when the cameras were on him but it doesn’t seem to have diminished his popularity. A dangerous man

The Matriarch
http://www.rfi.fr/actufr/images/076/segolene_royal_20060406.jpg

The amazingly well preserved Ségolene Royal vows to gather France to her bosom and not only become the first female president in an outrageously mysogynistic culture but do so with hardly any real policies whatsoever. Paxed to the leader of the Socialist Party, Francois Hollande, Ségo has also been around for donkey’s years (working under Mitterand) but is nevertheless presenting herself as a fresh face for the future. Full of smiles and effortless élan in her chanel suits and seamless poise she may be but it’s hard to see enough women voting for her over Sarkozy because, despite all her talk about family and care, the fact is French women hate other French women. C’est tout Madame.

The Headmaster
http://www.interet-general.info/IMG/Francois-Bayrou-6.jpg

From the centre (Moderation Now!) comes Francois Bayrou who would be my and G’s personal preference for the job. A cool courgette if ever there was one, Bayrou is a former man of letters and it shows in his precise delivery, though not as vociferous or vindictive (Positive qualities in France you must understand) as Sarko, he nonetheless appeals to the intellos. This ain’t his first rodeo either and his policies are well structured, thought-out and convincing. Problem is, not new and in some ways he represents the elitism that perhaps voters tire of. He is old school but not distanced. The turning point for us was the clip (see Youtube here - Check out:http://www.ina.fr/archivespourtous/pop.php?id=2f0163853be19a4de02bb565279df30f) of him slapping a youngster who was trying to pick his pocket at a rally across the face. Brilliant television.

The Nightmare
http://getthepicture.free.fr/Portraits/JPG/Le%20Pen%20Jean-Marie%20-%20Damien%20Lafargue.jpg

And so at last we come to Jean Marie Le Pen a man who needs no introductions other than a shudder of fear. The now 83 year old leader of the Front National is still as popular as ever in this increasingly rascist ‘Maghrebi paradise’. Le Pen hasn’t slowed down and though he laughs and makes points that are purposefully difficult to argue against you just know that once in power it would be a disaster for the liberal way of life. There would be nowhere to hide for the gays, even less chance of employment for anyone with even slightly sallow skin and probably a return to the Franc. And worse, even if he were to die tomorrow, his daughter Marine is almost worse than him and just about ready to assume the mantle. He appears on satirical latex puppet show Les Guingnols as a velour clad urban youth who says ‘hype’ etc. The truth is, he’d burn the banlieus if he could.


So that’s the fancies for this Derby. Valleybet.com will give you:

2/1 Sarkozy
6/1 Royal
10/1 Bayrou
15/1 Le Pen.

However I’ll be offering evens on Royal if she gets into the second round.

On verra...

Hein!

It’s a great day.

The coquettish february sun is glinting from the windows of the aerienne as a bumbling mouche falls to his caffeinated doom inside the espresso of a surprised Panamian interrrrrupted in mid Foof! at whatever and whatnot could be rankling him and past this picture strides this author on his way to the internet cafe flush from the succesful purchase of a neon bathroom light to make his first blog entry in what must seem like endless galactical revolutions for you.

And it goes a little something like this –
It’s warm again. And Clint Eastwood has been presented the Legion d’honnuer by our twilight President of the Republique for outstanding excellence in the field of scowling.
‘I especially hate spics!’
Christmas came and went and I experienced the true definition of Culture shock according to Cuddihy in La Pizza on O’Connell St when I was over for the mutated forgotten son of the Mother and Father of all piss-ups. But that was nothing compared to the rest of the day which was embryo’s play compared to the following two weeks. Insanity incarnate.
And that was two months ago now. Since then everything has, yes, gone exactly according to my plans with the exception of a few random variables which we’ll just have to categorize as Ka, nod winsomely and get on with it.

So I’m still here. And have every intention of always still being here. If our body cells are changing all the time, after a certain cycle when every cell has been replaced are we still the same person? If I haven’t seen you in nine months then physically speaking we have both completely changed our matter and are therefore not exactly the same person but a reconstituted copy of the memory of that person. We are all in flux, so can we ever truly know a person over the course of a lifetime? It’s like Trigger with his Brush of many handles and heads. I’ve been eating frog food all this time so I’m utterly something else now. How odd.

My brain has changed. A switch went off a while back and now I have dreams completely in French and I no longer have to internally translate stuff. It’s a fascinating feeling and impossible to pinpoint when exactly the transition took place. Probably a Thursday night though.

My social circle is expanding rapidly. There are so many cool people in this town I thank the spirits every day for all the greatchance I’ve had.

There are so many good books in the world and fantastic artists. I’ve forgotten most of the things I usesd to hate, I know they existed but can’t put my finger on them anymore. It’s amazing what a good chef can do with just onions and bread. I’m back in Hyrule and it’s all Gorons and Zora and Kakariko again. Rocky Balboa is a simple, silly and magnificent film that filled my blood with microscopic ring bells of joy. I have fantastic colleagues who like to drink with me on Thirsty Thursdays, Lucy the skelpy scallywag who still doesn’t realy know where she lives or how to pronounce it and Clementine who rolls cigarettes despite being female. Other cool characters are Pierre Paresseux, Ambre Samba, Stella Stellar and Sylvainer Than You.

Oh ro se do bheath abhaile.

Till next time Dirtlings.


In Loving Memory
Of Missy Fennell
1998 -2007

Mission accomplished girl. See you in the Clearing At The End Of the Path with Odie Homer and Benjy.

Thank you for your life.